I Love You, Tori Vega
by Lovatic1966
Summary: Only the fix I need won't come to me, it keeps running away. Cori. Now a two-shot by request.
1. Chapter 1

**Cat's POV**

How could she be so blind? Even Jade understands, well, sometimes. Jade and I are best friends; curiosity had to intervene at some point. What? You don't know what I'm talking about? …Okay, okay, I'll restart.

I love Tori. I love her more than anything. More than the blue in the sky and more than air I breathe and more than the color of red velvet cupcakes. I remember her first day at Hollywood Arts, she looked so cut with her bangs over her face like that. Jade was mean to her of course, she always was mean to the new girls. Made sure she broke them, and made sure they knew their place. But Tori didn't break or bend to Jade. She stood tall and the more Jade teased and taunted the harder Tori tried to impress her and that impenetrable façade. All the other girls in the school, save me and Tori had been withered and crushed like Jade. Jade's like a thunderstorm; you stand up too tall and she'll strike you with lightening and leave you to burn.

I was always an exception to Jade just because I was there for her and she was there for me at the right place at the right time. I think we were a little over halfway through with middle school when Jade and I first 'tried something new'. We kissed. It happened once, happened twice, and kept happening until Jade meet Mr. Perfect, Beckett Oliver. The kisses were fleeting then. Friends with benefits, Jade told me. She came to me when an agreement with Beck was too much to take. She'd rip open the door, grab me by hair and hips and tear my clothes off to throw on the floor. What? Did Jade and I - no! Even Jade has a stopping point. We weren't dating and we weren't in love we weren't just going to have sex to solve every problem. Sure, when Jade left and the door slammed closed again I always had bruises in the shape of her hands, red skin growing hotter from her teeth. She only went to Tori when I wasn't there. Robbie…well, you can see the problem there. And Andre's a guy and if Jade just had a fight with a guy she doesn't want to talk to a guy.

At first when she told me she went to Tori I was mad. Jade thought it was a best friend jealousy thing, but I didn't want Jade doing what she did with me to Tori or anything close to it. I want Tori to myself. I want to hold her in my arms, stroke her soft hair, and sing love songs with and to her. But Tori thinks I'm just her crazy, redheaded, ditzy friend who always has her head up in the clouds when her heart is really crushed into the ground. Tori seems to be crushing on everyone but me somehow. Beck and Andre, even my best friend Jade. I'm impulsive, in case you haven't noticed. I follow people around without thinking and I'm always seemingly lost. I understand more than you think. Caterina Valentine isn't just some crazy redhead, you know.

She's a person and she wants to be loved by someone who's around her every day, but won't take enough notice of her. I can't go a day without seeing her, hearing her name or one of her songs. It's like a drug addiction, really. Only the fix I need won't come to me, it keeps running away. Now it's gotten to the point where I need her so bad it hurts and it's not a pain I can stop. My heart squeezes and twists in an invisible vise, my throat blocks itself so I can breathe, and the tears blur my eyes so I smash into everything around me.

_Tori, I wish you could see how much I love you, but I'm too afraid to tell and you still can't see. Goodbye forever, Cat._

The note is short and simple; I don't want to spend time writing my entire heart out on paper when that makes it hurt even more. I want you, Tori. Why won't you just look at me like I'm not crazy, more than a crazy friend? My knife is sharp, the cuts deep.

Tori Vega, won't you love me?

**Hate or love? Want to hug or throw in the fire? I went into a lot more depth than I planned to, but it's still pretty good.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Cat's POV**

Silent words of love catch and hook in my throat as the knife tears deep into my skin. I done this before, but this time I'm going to throw myself off the edge without any attempt to save myself for tomorrow. My door is unlocked. It doesn't matter; my parents never care enough to check on me. I slash uneven gashes on my soft arms, and the red wells up and over quickly in a rising tide of red. My hand keeps the blade moving until I get an abrupt feeling of light-headiness and the weapon slips out of my fingers. My eyes barely register the pink carpet stained red before light-headiness to blackness and I feel myself slide to the floor.

* * *

><p>I'm just scarcely aware of a faint beeping sound that seems to come from next to me. My arms feel numb and stiff - wait, why can I still feel? My fingers give a violent twitch and my eyes snap open.<p>

"Oh, thank God, Cat; you're awake."

Tori...she's sitting next to me, one of my hands enclosed in both of hers. My faintly beating heart quivers at the realization of her touch. The bright lights in the room make me squint, but they'll adjust. Tori grabs me in a tight bearhug and if I could I would have returned the favor gladly to her. "Why would you do something like that?" A whimper grows in my throat as I realize that's she's on the brink of tears because of me.

"The note..."

"Oh, Cat, I read the goddamn note." I hear a sniffle, and my heart does another painful twist. Bandages encase both my arms, almost to the top of my shoulders. I painfully raise them to lay tenderly on her back. "We - we could have talked."

"I'm sorry." The raspy words are the only ones I can force out.

"Don't be; it's my fault."

"No," My voice is stronger than I thought it would be, but if anything this IS NOT Tori's fault. "No, it's not. You weren't the one holding the knife."

Her arms tighten around my ribs. "I could paid more attention, been less self-centered -"

"Stop it, Tori." I won't let her degrade herself because she feels sorry for me. "You're not self-centered; you're a good person."

"God, Cat. How can you say that? You almost killed yourself because of me."

"It was out of love." The fire leeches from my voice, leaving me small and vulnerable again.

"Cat..." She moves out of her chair and sits gingerly on the side of the bed, like she's afraid it will hurt me in some way.

"Who found me?" I ask, too quickly. I want to change the subject. I can tell Tori doesn't like it, but she obliges anyway.

"Jade. She said she noticed how you'd been acting and she was worried. She went upstairs to your room and she said -" Her voice breaks and she forces herself to go on. "She said she saw you lying there in a pool of blood - and you weren't moving." Tori's voice breaks into sobs. "She called 911 and told me you were in the hospital." A small candle of comfort lights in me. Jade cares, she always has. It's good to know you have a best friend, even if she isn't always there.

"Is she -"

"She's in the waiting room. So is everyone else." They...they cared enough to wait to see me? I voice the question aloud and Tori pull backs, tears running tracks down her bronze skin. "Of course they care, Cat. We all care. _I care_."

Her lips are trembling and desperate, but they still connect with mine anyway, and my heart seems to burst with happiness. My bandaged arms are too stiff to wrap around her neck, so they curl around her body along with my legs as our lips pick up a rhythm that we both glad go along with.

"Tori?" I speak with my lips touching hers, our foreheads resting against each other.

"Yeah, Cat?" Her melodic voice is hardly a murmer, light hands skimming over my body in this skimpy hospital gown. It's not a 'I want to have sex with you touch', not blind lust. It's caring and tentative, discovering something precious and my hands do the same with her.

"I love you."

"Yeah, I know, Cat. I know."


End file.
